In the cardiac cath lab at Manatee Memorial Hospital where I work when I am not working on or at Carmella's Casa Italiana, there was a patient's name on the schedule that looked very familiar. At first I chalked it off as a repeat patient in the cath lab, but that just didn't seem to fit.
On Tuesday, one of the other nurse's brought the patient over on a stretcher from the outpatient department. As soon as I saw him, I recognized him as someone who used to come in the restaurant with his spouse on an infrequent basis. Infrequent basis as in once a year, on his birthday, armed with a birthday coupon.
I went in the lab where he was having his procedure, started hooking him up to the equipment, and said hello and naively asked, "Where've you been? I haven't seen you in the restaurant lately." He said, "What restaurant?" I told him, "Carmella's Casa Italiana. I'm Carrie." He peered at me and told me I looked different, then he lifted his head off the pillow and wildly questioned, "What happened to that place??????? We used to go in there all the time!" [That is a gross exaggeration or an outright lie, depending on how you look at it!!!!]
I was not only taken aback but completely mortified because my co-workers heard him. I'm a highly trained professional, so I calmly responded, "Since you haven't been in, I guess it didn't change for the better." With that, I finished hooking him up and quietly left the room. [I'm also humble and suffer from sleep deprivation. I make bad choices and sometimes behave irresponsibly. You remember my ex-husband of Doritos fame? I rest my case.]
One of the medications used in the cath lab has an amnesiac effect. Armed with that knowledge, I was confident he wouldn't remember me or the conversation. My plan was to give him a wide berth.
Obviously, events did not work out as I planned. If they did, I wouldn't be writing this blog and you wouldn't be on the edge of your seating waiting to read what happened next while being on the verge of outrageous entertainment.
At the end of the procedure, the doctor ordered a medication. As luck would have it, I was the only nurse within ear shot, so guess who had to give it? I doubted that I would be able to inject the medication into his IV and make a quick getaway, but I was thinking it wouldn't matter because I was also banking on his amnesia.
He saw me and with absolutely no trace of amnesia picked up the conversation where we left it over one hour ago before the boatload of drugs he received.
This was his take on things: "We used to go in there all the time. I always ordered the scarparelli, which was delicious, and my wife always ordered the shrimp scampi, also very delicious. The last time we were in there, the server went away and left us all alone. We were the only two people there. I just don't know what happened to that place."
Let me explain. I used to do all the deliveries. When the economy went south, deliveries tapered off dramatically. It is not unreasonable for the server to take the few weekly deliveries while the cook manages whatever is going on in-house. In order to keep the restaurant afloat, I had to go back to the hospital full time, so unless I wanted to live in a state of chronic exhaustion, and frankly, I did for awhile, I just couldn't be at the hospital all day and at the restaurant every afternoon and night.
Now, I at this stage of the game, I'm sure you realize it was not the time or place to explain all this to John (not his real name). He was there as a patient, I was there as a nurse, and honestly, from what I know of him, I don't actually think there would have ever been a good time and place. Despite that, I did take the time to point out that we streamlined the menu and scaparelli and shrimp scampi are no longer available.
I did that for two very selfish reasons. One, I don't want him back as a customer. Sometimes, let's face it, there are those 'customers' who I just have to cut lose to cut losses. The last time he was in he was angry because he didn't have his birthday coupon. Apparently, he didn't think it important enough to print the coupon from his email. I did my duty, I emailed the coupon. It was his duty to print it. He wanted Deb to just accommodate him with a birthday discount.
Second, and more importantly, I told you in an earlier blog that "healthy people are the ones who eat at my restaurant because never has one of my customers also been my heart attack patient at Manatee Memorial Hospital."
True, John came in with chest pain from blockages and not with a heart attack. Regardless, I have to keep my record of never having a customer for a patient...Oh, there was that one man, but he hardly ever came in.
So come in and see what it's all about. If pizza, pasta, subs, or burgers are not your thing, we have salads so fresh and crispy you'll swear the huckster just brought the produce in from the farm. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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