A customer has never been my patient

In the cardiac cath lab at Manatee Memorial Hospital where I work when I am not working on or at Carmella's Casa Italiana, there was a patient's name on the schedule that looked very familiar. At first I chalked it off as a repeat patient in the cath lab, but that just didn't seem to fit.

On Tuesday, one of the other nurse's brought the patient over on a stretcher from the outpatient department. As soon as I saw him, I recognized him as someone who used to come in the restaurant with his spouse on an infrequent basis. Infrequent basis as in once a year, on his birthday, armed with a birthday coupon.

I went in the lab where he was having his procedure, started hooking him up to the equipment, and said hello and naively asked, "Where've you been? I haven't seen you in the restaurant lately." He said, "What restaurant?" I told him, "Carmella's Casa Italiana. I'm Carrie." He peered at me and told me I looked different, then he lifted his head off the pillow and wildly questioned, "What happened to that place??????? We used to go in there all the time!" [That is a gross exaggeration or an outright lie, depending on how you look at it!!!!]

I was not only taken aback but completely mortified because my co-workers heard him. I'm a highly trained professional, so I calmly responded, "Since you haven't been in, I guess it didn't change for the better." With that, I finished hooking him up and quietly left the room. [I'm also humble and suffer from sleep deprivation. I make bad choices and sometimes behave irresponsibly. You remember my ex-husband of Doritos fame? I rest my case.]

One of the medications used in the cath lab has an amnesiac effect. Armed with that knowledge, I was confident he wouldn't remember me or the conversation. My plan was to give him a wide berth.

Obviously, events did not work out as I planned. If they did, I wouldn't be writing this blog and you wouldn't be on the edge of your seating waiting to read what happened next while being on the verge of outrageous entertainment.

At the end of the procedure, the doctor ordered a medication. As luck would have it, I was the only nurse within ear shot, so guess who had to give it? I doubted that I would be able to inject the medication into his IV and make a quick getaway, but I was thinking it wouldn't matter because I was also banking on his amnesia.

He saw me and with absolutely no trace of amnesia picked up the conversation where we left it over one hour ago before the boatload of drugs he received.

This was his take on things: "We used to go in there all the time. I always ordered the scarparelli, which was delicious, and my wife always ordered the shrimp scampi, also very delicious. The last time we were in there, the server went away and left us all alone. We were the only two people there. I just don't know what happened to that place."

Let me explain. I used to do all the deliveries. When the economy went south, deliveries tapered off dramatically. It is not unreasonable for the server to take the few weekly deliveries while the cook manages whatever is going on in-house. In order to keep the restaurant afloat, I had to go back to the hospital full time, so unless I wanted to live in a state of chronic exhaustion, and frankly, I did for awhile, I just couldn't be at the hospital all day and at the restaurant every afternoon and night.

Now, I at this stage of the game, I'm sure you realize it was not the time or place to explain all this to John (not his real name). He was there as a patient, I was there as a nurse, and honestly, from what I know of him, I don't actually think there would have ever been a good time and place. Despite that, I did take the time to point out that we streamlined the menu and scaparelli and shrimp scampi are no longer available.

I did that for two very selfish reasons. One, I don't want him back as a customer. Sometimes, let's face it, there are those 'customers' who I just have to cut lose to cut losses. The last time he was in he was angry because he didn't have his birthday coupon. Apparently, he didn't think it important enough to print the coupon from his email. I did my duty, I emailed the coupon. It was his duty to print it. He wanted Deb to just accommodate him with a birthday discount.

Second, and more importantly, I told you in an earlier blog that "healthy people are the ones who eat at my restaurant because never has one of my customers also been my heart attack patient at Manatee Memorial Hospital."

True, John came in with chest pain from blockages and not with a heart attack. Regardless, I have to keep my record of never having a customer for a patient...Oh, there was that one man, but he hardly ever came in.

So come in and see what it's all about. If pizza, pasta, subs, or burgers are not your thing, we have salads so fresh and crispy you'll swear the huckster just brought the produce in from the farm. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

It's my birthday, gonna party....

OK, today is not my birthday, but it's my birthday's fault that I have been away for so long. I don't know where the time goes! I celebrated Friday at Tarpon Pointe and the restaurant, Saturday and Sunday in the pool, and tonight at the Outback with a steak and lobster dinner. Since that is the case, I guess we should talk about my birthday.

When I went to bed on Thursday, I knew that Friday was my birthday. The next morning the alarm went off. I thought, "Yay! It's finally time to get up for work!" OK, that's a big lie. It really went something like this, "UGH, I have to get up for work." For the first time in my life, my first waking thought on my birthday was not, "It's my birthday!"

I did what I always do, I stretched and lazily turned on the TV to hear what was happening in the world. I heard Haley Wielgus saying, "Good morning, it's Friday, July 22nd." It hit me then that it was my birthday. So I did a double "UGH, I not only have to go to work, but I'm on call for my birthday." Whatever, I'm a trooper, so I got up, hit the bathroom, did a few exercises, got dressed, and overall, I was feeling pretty good about myself. I headed downstairs to clean the litter boxes, feed the cats and birds, and have a little breakfast.

When I got down there, there was a card and gift from Ralph. I debated if I should wait to open everythiing until Ralph could be with me, but that probably wasn't going to happen until after 10:00 pm. I was feeling happy, so opened the card and gift without him.

The gift was the blu-ray movie "Limitless." The card was beautifully written and said something like it's a time to pause and celebrate and to not only look forward but also to look back. I thought I would cry...and I had to go to work so I couldn't afford tears. Looking forward or backwards, there was going to be a pity party because this is not how I envisioned my life would be at this age! Instead of tears, I just got cranky.

I was at lunch, and my co-workers eventually realized it was my birthday. I alluded to my crankiness and sorrow about how my life was. Carla, one of my co-workers said, "Carrie, you have a nice life. You have wonderful children, a great house, a job, etc."

And I thought, "OMG, I am really an ungrateful b---h! I have a daughter-in-law, an ex-daughter-in-law, two out of three children, four out of six grandchildren, and one out of two sisters who think I walk on water. My house and car are paid off. There is that restaurant loan and the restaurant is hanging on by a thread, but at least it's hanging.  So what? Everything can't be perfect. Yet!"

I made a decision right then and there to cultivate and maintain a positive attitude. I never had much of a problem with that, until the restaurant. The restaurant is just going to take more work than I thought and I can't allow that venture to ruin my life.

Anyway, on my birthday, I received birthday greetings too numerous to count on Facebook in the form of wishes, banners, and heart touching sentiments. (Donna, what you wrote really tugged at my heart strings.) A good friend and my mother gave me beautiful cards. Deborah made an outstanding ornament from sea glass, seashealls, and wire. My mother gave me a desert rose and replanted it in a gorgeous ceramic pot. Byron made a card that had me rolling on the floor......

There's a story regarding the desert rose, but that will have to wait until another time.

I'm very fortunate to be surrounded by people who can open my eyes. I'm truly blessed and grateful. And so far, I'm maintaining my positive attitude and outlook. Thank you to everyone, family and friends. I don't know what I do for you, but I'm honored and I know what you do for me. Thanks again.